Shortly after I realized I was pregnant, I knew I had a major life decision to make. In considering placing my child for adoption, many issues had to be resolved. Could I keep and parent my child? Could I afford housing, transportation, and childcare, on the income I could earn based on my current education level? The final question I asked myself was, “Do I have adequate family support to be a single parent?” This all boils down to the big question: “What is best for my baby?”
I became a Hannah’s House Mom about a month ago. When I first came here, I was completely uneducated about open adoption and adoption in general. Initially, I reviewed multiple profiles from families wanting to adopt. Soon, I recognized that some families were not comfortable with staying in touch with the birthmother following the birth of the baby. I then became more educated about adoption and discovered significant differences in levels of ongoing contact between birthmothers and the adoptive families. Having considered new information, I opted to review additional profiles of families who would encourage contact with me throughout the child’s life.
Currently, I am narrowing down the number of families I am considering. By no means has this been an easy task. I come from a very dysfunctional family with a history of drugs and abuse that landed me in the foster care system shortly after my mom was sent to prison. During my younger years, I found myself repeating this cycle because I didn’t know anything different. After failing, and hitting rock bottom a number of times over the course of the past ten years, I realized “my way” was not working and I yearned for something different.
At the age of 29, and eight months pregnant, I decided to break the dysfunctional cycle because of the love this child has created in my heart. I have learned to love with a part of my heart that I didn’t know existed, and I am learning and growing every day in the healthiest way. I thank God every day that Hannah’s House has given me this opportunity to flourish and be the woman and mother I know I can be, and that I want to be.
